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2nd May, 2003. 12:55 pm. i need TP for my bunghole

hello cyber world and all you star trek freaks i just wanna say STAR WARS RULES FUCK YOU ALL!!! anyway me and jen are back together already but we need to work out stuff about ourselfs that pisses the other one off but i guess its natral to get annoyed with someone you see so much our relationship will probly last untill one of us kills the other (thats right im on to her littel plan involving a 22.and a sholvel) i guees its better that haveing paul kill me.he whould probly tie my naked corpse to a highway sighn afer he had his way with me of coures

Current mood: bored.
Current music: sublime self tital.

1st May, 2003. 1:30 pm. the mask is off,and so are the gloves

ok now jen has made it very clear that she no longer wants to be friends she went about this by trashing me to some of my classmates according to them she thinks im annoying so let me take this time to let you all know what i think is annoying.ok annoying is when you and your girlfriends most celebraited activaty is you siting in your room while she sleeps all day.annoying is when you anser the question "what do you want to do" with "i dont know" then turn around and say we only do what i wanna do.annoying is when you dummp me and tell me the very day after that you wanna go out with my best friend.and annoying is when i take you out for dinner and buy you a ring to thank you for helping me with school then you stop helping me after you get what you want so you know what jen maby i am annoying but tell me this what dose that make you one more thing annoying is when you say that you have tryd everything to make us work BULLSHIT im the one who did everything and anything for you but you want everyone to think that im the bad guy so you just go ahead and say whatever you need to say to be abel to look at yourself in the mirror you can try everything you want to make me look bad and try to say i ruined this relationship but we both know it was you and your own damed lazyness that broke us up i also realize that you can contol this live journal so you can get rid of what im saying or change shit around but i dont care you and i both know what relly happend between us so you can try all you want to turn my friends against me with your lies (and you know there lies)so if you wanna try to screew me that just do it

Current mood: enraged.

30th April, 2003. 10:38 pm. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!

today was cool we had practice at the new guitarist's house his yard is relly cool like a junk yard and we had pizza. Ian gave me a weiegie and i got kinnda mad cuz stuff like that whould happen to me when i was younger cuz of pepol i thought were my friends but after thinnking about it paul and ian are my real friends who whouldent ditch me or other kindda shit like that i never trusted the friends i used to have but i trust them witch is good any way Jen dummped me yesterday and her resons are very strange to me she also says she wont help me pass 12th grade and today the day after she dummps me shes talking about someone she is already intresided in its like shes trying to provoke me i sense something realy off now. she wants to hang out tomarro and and sometimes i think she dosent even what a friendship with me and she just whants to keep it up cuz her new love intreast is someone i know .but maby im just pariniod but i dont know chould she be planing something when i first met her she told me she can be manipulative chould this side of her be at work right now she may get pissed after reading this but these are all just random thoughts plus i havent slept in 30 hours

Current mood: tired.
Current music: ORGY from family values 98.

21st April, 2003. 10:37 pm. peal off all those eyes

well today was a full day for me i was kiddnaped silly stringed and yelled at by the new chief of police and i stole a rake form the golf course hopefully the goverment isint watching my jounal i think i can hear the helicopters now anyway hear is something thats ben on my mind for awile Elizabeth Bathory and Cradle of Filth what is the conection im sure that benith the howling stars is about her for those of you that dont know Elizabeth Bathory is better know as the blood countess she was a hungaryian princess that bleveved bathing in the blood of other woman kept her young she tourcherd and killed over 650 woman of course she dosent hold a candel to Vlad Dracula wose body count is up around 5,000 and he killed tens of thousands of turks i know almost every entree i made was about Vlad but kiss my ass cuz no one did more for there country than him any way i have to work tomarro that sux i relly hate my shitty chease job

Current mood: curious.
Current music: Manson,man that you fear remix. long live Twiggy.

17th April, 2003. 7:54 pm.

Since Josh doesn't update his journal ever! I'm here to report that he is alive and well. Everyone yell at him to write in his freakin' journal!

10th April, 2003. 1:06 pm. drummer???

i did it i passed 3rd quarter i almost made it im gonna need a new job now cuz theres no way im working at burger king full time anyway i know this kid from school Ange who wants to quit his band to join our ministry of music he also said his drummer my be willing to join us as well we may also get another place to practice out of this cuz right now that band is practiceing at Ange's house i want to tell him if he can sucessfuly defect himself and the drummer to our band then they can join but im going to wait to meet with the rest of the bands approval befor i make any offers

Current mood: high.
Current music: manson.lunchbox.

9th April, 2003. 9:20 pm. midwinter wrongs and rites of spring her spiral chill rakes the earth

jen and i broke up today i think in the long run we just dident me each other happy i relly still want to be part of her life but thats up to her i dont blame her if she hates me cuz im a realy shitty boyfriend im sure any ex-girl friend whould agree that im scum i always say how i wana be in a serios relaionship but ultimately i guess i just cant handel it Jen dosent think she can find anyone else but any one in there right mind whouldent turn her down shes funny and smart and hot and everything i dont deserve you see im like one of those diseased fish that belongs in a bowl by its self i dont know what will happen with us now but like i said thats up to her

Current mood: tired.
Current music: cradle of filth,beneath the howling stars.

9th April, 2003. 3:04 pm. nsidniwsnksnldnviw

jens over but shes sleeping i dont relly mind its just boreing its like being home alone but you cant yell at the tv. as far as school go's if i keep my shit together i'll be out june 1st for good i even get to go to the case high graduation it will be cool to go and see my old class mates say what the fuck is he doing hear? it should be cool i gota get my tattoo fixed cuz i looks shitty .i like getting tattoos its like cutting yourself but you have something cool to show for it. this getting older stuff is scareing the shit out of me. what am i gonna do after high school i dont know i guess i just need to grow the fuck up

Current mood: bored.
Current music: nothing,jens sleeping.

8th April, 2003. 12:05 pm. monkey squall apple rocks and jumbo panties

well i'm here in school working on curent events LOL! i need to think of idears for writing assinments i think next im gona write about Vlad Tepes since i already know every thing about him you know some ass monster told me Vlad Dracula and Saddam Hussein have alot in common. I was pissed first of all Vlad fought the forces of the ottoman empire and those traders called hungary. Vlad Dracula died fighting for the dream of Romanian independance his methods of controling his people were inovative and at that time acceptable now lets look at Saddam he is a goat fucking sleezbag dictator that never even had control of his own country the next one to tell me they have anything in common is getting stabbed in the jugular!!!!

Current mood: aggravated.
Current music: marilyn manson=turnoquet remix.

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13th May, 2003. 1:40 am. Just another lump in a sea of shit

i am shit worthless pice of shit why is it that all the good intesions iv ever had dont mean shit in the end i talked to jen tonite and again i only casued more harm. i destroyed that poor girl all i do is destroy evrything im not safe around anyone i can feel other pepols emotions and then i take them on as my own no one is ever happy mabye its cuz im around.i smoke pot almost everyday just to silence the voices in my head sometimes it sounds like hundreds of them they tell me im worthless and that i should hurt myself and other pepol when im high its like im finaly alone in my own head. Alone...... maybe thats the anser i cant hurt anyone if im not around im tired of pretending everything will be ok it never has ben. i wish i wasent like this i wish i could sleep i wish i never hurt anyone i got this tatto on my back to signafiy my faith but i have no faith iv betryed my faith a long time ago and now this meaningless symbol just burns me and when ever i look at it im reminded of the ideals i once valued so much, the promises iv made to my self are broken i guess i cant even trust myself i pormised to never hurt anybody again but all i do is hurt myself and those around me im a terribel person and i deserve noone and nothing i dont want to feel any more i wish i were cold and heartless completly without emotion id rather not feel anything anymore

Current mood: hopeless.
Comments: 5 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 6 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 8 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 3 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: destroy yourself.
Comments: destroy yourself.
Comments: 6 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 5 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 19 victims - destroy yourself.
Comments: 5 victims - destroy yourself.